How sad is it that on NHL’s 13th day of school we likely threw in the towel?
Yes, you read that right. Yesterday I talked with one of his providers who has seen the rigid and ridiculous expectations in this classroom. Not only for a 4 year old in PreK, but even for children in kindergarten a year older. She feels that the clearly angry behavior seen recently from NHL may be since he is frustrated in this classroom. According to her he’s overwhelmed with the extreme number of rules and protocol for each Montessori activity. There are usually 15+ sets of specific instructions with no wiggle room. All he hears all day is his name and being corrected about something – NEVER any positive reinforcement.
Yuck, no wonder yesterday morning he said he was sick and asked to stay home. I kid you not, my 4 year old son uttered those words to us on his 13th day of school. I never expected to hear those words until he was a lot older.
So we are looking at options and calling a meeting with his 3 providers and NOT the school now. I did tell his teacher I think we’re done soon and that I had had it. He’s acting out for a reason and I don’t want him to get a negative attitude about education. Clearly what NHL needs is a typical classroom where the teacher models things and less craziness is going on in the room. According to his occupationoal therapist he does amazing ay circle time where he interacts like you would in a regular classroom and he gets positive feedback.
More updates coming as we investigate all of our options.
You said NHL goes to a montesorri school? I am very surprised about the no positive reinforcment. I thought that was what they are all about. I hope you find what works best for him. I am currently having the same problem with the little princess. She screams and cries every morning when it is time to leave. I just don’t get it. I guess all I can say is good luck :)
Please update on what you find to do with him. MY personal opinion and action would be to pull him immediately (he isnt legally bound to be in school now anyhow) and find a preschool that is just for 3-4 (or 3-5) year olds. Where Jenna goes is at a church, you may be able to locate something along those lines, but there is not one child in the 18 in her class and the 18 across the hall at the other Pre-K that do not go bolting into school when it is time. They are very structured with the child but no even close to being rigid. VERY positive influences happening for them and everyone I ask has a child who adores going everyday. I really do not think that sending him back in any way whatsoever is going to benefit him and may even be more detrimental to his psyche if nothing else. I don’t think this acting out is him just trying to push buttons or get his way, especially seeing as you had no trouble with him going to school last year. I really am thinking of you and hope that things look up for you soon. YOU or NHL should Not have to go thru something like this. No child should! When will you have the 3 providers meeting?
Aubrey: I will be honest I was floored with how things have gone. This morning the principal talked with JL and I when we dropped NHL off (he’s home for Sukkot). I guess she didn’t think I was serious when I told the teacher I was going to pull him from the school. They thought maybe I was overreacting and getting too emotional. Maybe I was emotional, but that is not the reason I would pull him from a school.
The sad part is NHL actually goes in the morning and doesn’t cry. When he’s heard that we’re looking at new schools he gets very upset.
On that note we are off to pick up the monkey. Now JL can witness pick up and hear the words from the teacher – or see how she avoids me.
Sandra: We are looking at two programs that will be covered by the school district that are not within their schools. It’s an integrated nursery school that would provide him more support to help him transition next year into a traditional kindergarten, IF we send him next year.
It would mean losing all of his current providers, but he would get more overall support in this program. NHL’s occupational therapist did some leg work and gave me numbers to call. I left messages to find out if there are any openings. No call back yet, but hopefully they will soon. I was told both were in meetings all day.
My goal is to tour them next Monday – Wednesday and then our meeting with the current providers is Thursday afternoon. The nice thing is his OT contacted the district and they will do this if we agree.
I shall keep ya posted.
Let us know how pick up went. I am interested if they are different when JL is there.
Sandra: Absolutely nothing went different with JL there. He looked at me after Noah got out and said “You mean she isn’t going to tell us how today went?” NOPE – she doesn’t say squat anymore. . . sad isn’t it? So he went over and asked her. I will also note that the principal was outside this afternoon and she was sucking butt. I think she may realize JL is DONE with the website he’s been working on for free now. Oh well – TBSS!
BTW – I am heading in tomorrow morning (JL will be home with JSL) to observe in the room. I just want to see what the deal is. I know he won’t act up with me, but I also know the teachers will be different with me there as well.
Its too bad you cant secretly observe so you can get a real deal! Hope it answers SOMETHING For you! Why would you not send N to K next year?
Sandra: I technically could go in to secretly watch. The catch it once I sign in for a pass they could call the teacher on her phone. So although NHL may not know his teacher could act differently.
We may not opt to send since he’s SO young. He may need more time to be mature enough. Mind you I think intellectually he’ll be bored this year, no less next year without more. So for now it’s an option, but we’re trying to take one day at a time.
*Cue theme song*
I understand. If you don’t think he is mature enough then def. don’t send him! It would be worse to cause problems for all of you then to keep him a little bored. I am sure teacher mommy can stimulate that little brain a lot more then they can anyhow!! I was held out another year before I started K. I turned 6 a month after school started in K. I would not talk to anyone during the interview/testing, though I knew all the things they ask of me and would not shut up at home! I was always in the highest reading groups and whatever else they place you in when you are young, so it wasnt that I wasnt smart enough, I was always a very young age, no matter what age I was. And I think I turned out ok LOL! I think that is what shocks me so much about J. She is SO outgoing and open, so social! She is everything I prayed she would be- the total opposite of how I was as a kid. Thank God!! I have always said if I can keep her from being anything like I was then I have done a good job. Oh, which makes me remember, I also had speech therapy until 2nd grade. When I DID talk to people they couldnt understand me LOL! Now back to my job to raise her, I feel accomplished at how she is turning out! Now B needs to work on his end of the bargain. Chris Rock says his job as the father of a girl is to “keep her off the pole” and he has done his job! Brian has NOT managed to keep Jenna off the pole! On the playground she dances, swings, climbs and rubs on the pole like she is an accomplished pole dancer LOL! Anyhow, that got long!! Let me know how today goes!! Good luck and I will be thinking of you!