Yesterday, the little guy and I spent the morning with my mother. She had the day off because she will be working on Thanksgiving day. We went shopping looking for some last minute Chanukah gifts before retail craziness really begins. While at one of our stops, I bumped into a former colleague of mine. I had not seen her since she retired and asked her how she was enjoying her new retired life.
On that flip side, I was asked how I liked being at home with the boys. I told her that most days I absolutely love it, but we have our moments. Let’s be honest here, I think we could all say that about any day, whether at work outside of the home or with our children. I told my friend that I loved being able to be at events for my older son, now a first grader. I did not have to worry about asking for the day off, leaving substitute plans or any of that. In addition to that, I was watching the boys grow in front of my eyes. She told me that she never once regretted staying home when her children were little. My mother has always told me the same thing and I truly do feel blessed that TechyDad and I are able to make it work for our family.
Today was a perfect example of how it is the little things in life that I love as a stay at home mom. The little guy and I got ready to head to the library. It was story hour and I thought it would be good for him to get back into the swing of things. Today, there were at least 20 children there along with parents, grandparents and other adults in their lives. It was slightly overwhelming for my shy 2 1/2 year old. JSL eventually warmed up and started to participate in the songs and dances.
During that time, I felt a twinge in my heart. This was something that I never did with NHL. He was in daycare from the time he was one until he started PreK. I missed those moments of him singing and dancing, listening to stories and interacting with his peers. So when JSL asked to jump into my lap, I hugged him just a little tighter trying to cherish these moments a bit more.
After the stories were finished, there was a craft today. The kids were all able to make little turkey puppets. This was JSL’s first real craft time. When given the glue stick to use for the items, he was clueless. He quickly learned how to dab on some glue and toss a feather onto his turkey.
Once again, my mind was racing. I never saw NHL’s first time using a glue stick or other little milestones. So many things I missed with my first born baby. I know I can not dwell on them too much, but I do feel bad. Of course, on the flip side if I go back to teaching once JSL is in school full time I will not be able to do the things that I have done for NHL. I have been a room parent for two years now. I have gone into his classroom to help teach the kids about Chanukah, read stories, and participate in parties.
In the end, I hope that both boys will know that I love each of them with all of my heart. I will always do and be there for them as much as possible. On that note, it is time to wipe my eyes. *sniffle* *sniffle*