Putting My Family First Can Hurt

Guilt, sometimes it hits like a big freight train. This weekend, my extended family will all be together for a special reason and I will not be there. My first cousin is getting married and I am going to be home instead of doing the Horah in celebration.

Why, you ask?

I am putting my family first. For multiple reasons, going would not be a good choice for the four of us. No need to go into that here, those have been explained, discussed, and debated countless times over the last year. There is no doubt that I am hurting feelings, and I feel quite guilty about that. Still, I do hope that family members will forgive me and realize that I am being an adult and doing what is best for my children.



On the night of the wedding, I will sit and remember babysitting my cousin when he was little, going to his hockey games, and joking with him as he helped to paint our house. So many memories of watching him grow up into the man that he has become. Perhaps we will get some donuts to celebrate the event – I know Cousin A will get that reference. I wish both A and A a wonderful life ahead of them and much happiness in their new life as husband and wife. Although we will not be there in person, we will be with you in our hearts.

With that, I leave you with a song that seems fitting right now. The song is My Family by The Laurie Berkner Band. The song really hits home and seemed appropriate at this moment

When you’re in my heart, you’re in my family,
When I’m in your heart, I’m in your family.
When you’re in my heart, you’re in my family,
When I’m in your heart, I’m in your family!
Fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers,
Cousins, friends, sons and daughters,
Uncles, aunts, and grandparents
I’m so glad you’re my family!

Have you ever had to put your family first and miss a big family event like a wedding? I would love to hear from you and share in the comments below.

It's Me

P.S. Many tears were shed in the typing of this post, but I still know it was the right decision for my family.

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  • We have actually…..last summer, my husband’s nephew was getting married out of state. My daughter was referred to a specialist for a potential problem the week of. I wanted to stay home for obvious reasons, but felt my husband should go to the wedding…..but he just couldn’t leave us. We all missed the wedding…..so hard because we all wanted to be there.

    Oh, and I love that song! I’m humming the tune right now :)

    Putting your family first can be hard, but doing what you think is best trumps everything. Hugs!
    Debra @ A Frugal Friend´s last blog post ..Children’s Book: Cooper and Me and the Winter Adventure – great topic on getting lost (Giveaway too)

  • Steffj89 says:

    We have to miss many. With his family being in Louisiana, it is an 8 hour plus trip for us. We have missed several of his cousins weddings and graduations. It is just too far for a weekend trip, and too costly. I had to miss a dear friends wedding in May, but there was just no way we could go with C out of work.

  • Jennifer says:

    Lots of times! Mostly because we live out of state and can’t always afford to fly home for celebrations.
    Jennifer´s last blog post ..Fast / Gas

  • Mandy says:

    I had to make a tough choice like that last summer and it hurt my heart. But in the end, we DO have to do what is best for our families. ((hugs))
    Mandy´s last blog post ..My JCP Secret Santa Revealed!

  • Upstatemamma says:

    We actually have just made the exact same decision about a wedding in August. It is my husband’s cousin’s wedding and we cannot go because we will be away. We considered changing our trip but if we don’t go we mess up some plans for our daughter’s birthday. And things are tough right now and we just feel like the kids need to be the priority right now. I know Michael’s cousin is hurt. And I feel bad. I really do. But we just have to do what is best for our kids. So, I totally understand. And it is sad to miss it. :(
    Upstatemamma´s last blog post ..God’s Promise

  • Upstatemamma says:

    I don’t know what happened but it ate my name – probably the not so well feeling baby in my lap. :)
    Upstatemamma´s last blog post ..God’s Promise