I have been married for seven years and four months now. In that span the only nights I have been away from my husband  are when our boys were born. Of course during those instances JL was hardly gone for long and I had so many other things on my mind.

Fast forward to tomorrow morning when he leaves for a wedding of a friend. The boys and I will be without Daddy for the first time. I have put on a brave face up to this point to try to make it seem like a fun things for the boys. Special time with Mommy, Nana and Papa, but the truth is I am sitting here crying over it.

I know that is silly, but it is the truth. What is worse is I am still angry over this entire wedding fiasco. My emotions keep flip-flopping between sad and angry. Not exactly a great combination, especially to hide from your five year old and 17 month old.

A little history about the wedding. At the end of last December, all four of us were invited to week long wedding destination wedding, all expenses paid. Our family and friends immediately thought it was a wonderful idea for us to take JL’s friend up on this opportunity and make it into a vacation. Before long things went down hill. When the flights were booked for us by the bride I lost it. They were horrid times for traveling with children. In addition to that, more of the week activities were announced and they were far from child friendly. Thankfully we were able to back out of taking the boys and little or no money was lost by JL’s friends.

My anger stems from my husband simply deciding he would go to the wedding alone. Why? Do not get me wrong I know that JL’s friendship means a lot to him. However, I also know the handful of times that he has seen his friend since we have been married. I also know that when I even suggested taking myself and the little guy to my cousin M’s wedding in the spring it was shot down, no questions asked. I know I should move on, but it still bothers me that I was not at M’s wedding and she is a very special part of my life, and family no less.

Ok, vent over. . . . see much better than therapy!

I can get past this, but my real fear is the boys. They are so attached to their Daddy. I worry that NHL will have behavior issues at school the rest of the week and that JSL will not sleep at night. Of course the boys could completely surprise me and be perfectly fine, that would not upset me at all.

JL please know that the boys and I love you so very much and will miss you lots.