Time for Couples is Important Too

Ever have one of those days where you wonder how you got to where you are? It seems to be hitting hard here over the last few months. Drama on many levels have left TechyDad and I quite stressed this year. When we celebrated our 10th anniversary with massive plumbing troubles and moving into my parent’s house for several days, it was a sign. Then, thanks to a little push from Amy (aka Resourceful Mommy), we decided to do it. Yes, we booked a kids free getaway. We tossed our senses away and decided that WE needed this. WE, as in the couple, were in great need of time to ourselves without worrying about the kids, stressing over the house, and bickering about this, that, and the other thing.

Since NHL was born, almost eight years ago, we had only gone away without the boys once. That was last summer to NYC for BlogHer. Although it was a wonderful trip, it was not exactly the romantic destination. There were many times that we were on opposite sides of the city at different events.

Off to the Sparklecorn party

Could we really afford this trip? Probably not, but WE the couple could not afford to let this opportunity go. What I have learned over the last year is that you can not wish, hope, and wait for things to get better. You must be proactive and stand up for what you need and want. TechyDad and I need to be selfish for us. The kids will be fine with family, they will get to know their Bubbe and Grandpa a lot more, and we will get to be a couple again.

The last real hurrah for us was when we went to Las Vegas in December 2002. We had celebrated out 1st anniversary in June by going to Boston. Then, when some health concerns in the following months left us deciding to start our family, we booked a getaway. Thankfully, we learned from our honeymoon and took more photos of the two of us together. Check out how young and carefree we were:

Pre-Kiddo Vacation

Our time in Vegas was amazing and we saw so many beautiful items (more posts on that another day). Here are a few photos scanned for now:

Vegas Baby

When we arrived home, we found out that we were indeed expecting our first little Ewok. NHL was born the following summer and changed our lives. While NHL and JSL are two of the most amazing parts of lives, we, like so many other couples, have hardly had time to be ourselves – husband and wife. Our roles of B and J have morphed into Mom and Dad and rarely seem allow us to get off and remind ourselves of who we used to be.

So, have you ever been just a little selfish in the name of your marriage? Please share tips, thoughts, or anything else in the comments below.

It's Me

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  • Traci says:

    i love this post! i’ve been feeling the same way lately…my DH and I need to get away, just the two of us. :)

    I’m so happy that you and TechyDad get to spend some time alone at WDW…you are going to have the most magical trip! (The last time DH and I had an “alone” trip was in January 2010 when we went to WDW for 2 days. I think we need to do that again very soon).

  • Liz says:

    This is so great for you! My husband and I really need to find the time to do this, too.

    It’s amazing how quickly you can get lost in being parents. We’re going on a date next week and I have been excited about it for 2 weeks now. It used to be a lot easier to make “alone time.” Now, it involves a lot of planning!

  • It’s great that you were able to get away like that. My DH and I keep talking about trying to find some time to go away without the kids, but always have an excuse. We even have a tough time finding the time to go out for a night. You’ve definitely given me inspiration to try to find the time!

    Glad you had fun!

  • sustahl says:

    I am lucky to be the mom of one son, we tried for more, but aren’t able to have any more. My son is a huge part of our vacation plans. Sometimes just getting away is enough. My husband and I are fortunate that we can have a lot of alone time because my son enjoys hanging out with his Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and Grandparents.

    Marriages definitely need to come first, so I am glad that you and your husband are having some alone time to build your marriage.

  • Sandra Foyt says:

    Like you, I’ve found it hard to make time for a couple-only getaway. In fifteen years of marriage, we’ve only had six, and three were before becoming parents. As difficult as they are to arrange, each time it has been well worth the effort as it has strengthened our relationship and made us better parents.

    Wishing you a magical romantic getaway!

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